Third Week Evaluation

http://leadershipfreak.wordpress.com/2014/07/23/the-first-secret-of-developing-a-leader/

In the third week of working on my self-management skill from my Goleman goal, I really have noticed a significant change in my being. Recently, I had gone through a rather negative experience with someone I once had a strong relationship with. To make matters short, we abruptly ended communication with each other and there were a lot of things unsaid. On my behalf, I wanted to say them all but kept myself from doing so because that's just what I thought was best. Part of my logic on that is this new self-management improvement thing I'm doing. I kept saying to myself that if the other person isn't trying to communicate, you shouldn't either. Normally, I would of called the person (like I always would when we had fights) and let it all out whether it ended good or bad, but as long as I laid it all out on the table. I'm a brutally honest person and sometimes it has been to my advantage, and sometimes not. So as I'm improving on "self-managing" myself, I did the opposite of what I's normally do and remained quiet and peaceful weeks upon weeks. Needless to say, it was quite refreshing and therapeutic. As I was reading an article by Warren G. Bennis and Robert J. Thomas named Crucibles of Leadership (part of Harvard Business Review's 10 Must Reads on Leadership), it came to me what I was already doing without realizing it. In the article they talk about this idea of finding meaning in and learning from the most negative events, "like phoenixes rising from the ashes, they emerge from adversity stronger, more confident in themselves and their purpose, and more committed to their work" as they said. That statement hit me and little did I know that's how I was already living for a couple of weeks. What I went through with that person and the end of that relationship really took a toll on my happiness and self-esteem. I saw myself as "not good enough" and irrelevant, it was also affecting my mood of course and in result I was not doing so well in school and in my other everyday life things. This was until the moment I decided to improve myself and to do it only for myself. As soon as my heart got over it, this negative event because the best moment yet. I let myself know that I am more than a good enough person, that I have morals and goals and that I will be happy and succeed without that person in my life because they don't define me. I got back up, took out anything that reminded me of that person from my life and I started to focus more on my education and outside life. Before I knew it, I was no longer even thinking of this person every day, I was advancing in my career by landing my perfect internship, and I was just overall happy because I kept myself together and did not make the attempt to communicate with this person and fall back in. Like Bennis and Thomas said, crucibles are a severe test or trial and are intense and always unplanned. This was a big test for me and my self-management skill, it was intense and unplanned but I got through it and am in a better place with so much confidence and peacefulness in my being.