Final Week Evaluation

http://geniusquotes.org/self-reflection-quote/

The final week of my six week Goleman goal has ended. Let me just say, this has really been more than just a class assignment. In the course I was assigned to do make this goal, I have learned so much about the person I am and who I can be. I am a very young woman, at the age of 20 (3 days shy from 21) and yet I feel like I've gone through so much more that I feel older. Experience and having my own crucibles makes you grow up faster, liked I read in this past article from Harvard Business Review, a good leadership skill is to find an opportunity from a negative event. So, I focused on a skill I needed a lot of developing on, Self-Management. Despite the negative end of a relationship I previously mentioned, it allowed me to really develop this skill and better myself. Now a day away from the six week milestone, I truly can say I feel accomplished. In my last post I talked about a phone call I received from that person and that I showed a sign of weakness and took it. We talked, and it was actually quite refreshing. I liked it, I really did. We were talking like civil adults and even caught ourselves laughing a little and making jokes. It's not like all is forgiven and forgotten, but all is peaceful and that is what is important to me. To have a sense of peace within myself and not live with any grudges with relationships that had a negative end or no closure. I have that now, I will receive closure when we meet up in person again and talk. This is a different approach I've never done and a lot of it has to do with the articles I read that I related back to my personal life. However this is merely the end, this is something I will practice for the rest of my life and most importantly, I'm happy again.

Fourth Week Evaluation

Four weeks later and significant improvement in my being and self-management skill continues. As of the third week I had come to the point where I realized just how well I had began doing with my self-improvement. In my fourth week something happened that put me to the test again. As I had previously mentioned in my last post, there was someone I once had a strong and long relationship with that had ended quite negatively with words unsaid. I decided to take a different approach then my usual and ignore the whole situation instead of attempting to contact the person and lash out. But this last week, that person contacted me instead. I was in a state of shock because I definitely did not see it coming. Most importantly, I remembered my self-managing goal and did not react right away saying the first thing that came to my head (although I really wanted to), I just read the text, ignored it and left it at that for a while. I went on that week to reading an article by Robert Goffee and Gareth Jones named Why Should Anyone Be Led by You? (a part of the Harvard Business Review's 10 Must Reads on Leadership) and there is an idea talked about that says to dare to be different and express your uniqueness, as well as another one that says show you are human by selectively revealing your weaknesses. I thought about these ideas long and hard as well as that text message. It then came to me that now that I was improving myself and in a better state of mind and life in general, that I did not want to live with a grudge against this person. Most people would say to leave it alone, that it is not worth my time and/or that that person does not deserve my attention. However, reading the article it made me think otherwise and that I should make a different approach. So, I replied to the text with caution. Basically, we decided on meeting up and having a conversation in person that was way overdue. Like I said, many words were left unsaid and that was very unsettling for me. Replying to the text did show a slight sign of weakness from my part, but it is for the best. I am human and have feelings and I will act upon them without forgetting to be cautious about it and retain my self-managing goal. Most importantly, it's just to continue to have this sense of peacefulness in my life, as it turned out to be a blessing in disguise for me to go through such a negative event. Below is a video featuring Robert Goffee and Gareth Jones themselves on the topic.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npCokAAOmHs

Third Week Evaluation

http://leadershipfreak.wordpress.com/2014/07/23/the-first-secret-of-developing-a-leader/

In the third week of working on my self-management skill from my Goleman goal, I really have noticed a significant change in my being. Recently, I had gone through a rather negative experience with someone I once had a strong relationship with. To make matters short, we abruptly ended communication with each other and there were a lot of things unsaid. On my behalf, I wanted to say them all but kept myself from doing so because that's just what I thought was best. Part of my logic on that is this new self-management improvement thing I'm doing. I kept saying to myself that if the other person isn't trying to communicate, you shouldn't either. Normally, I would of called the person (like I always would when we had fights) and let it all out whether it ended good or bad, but as long as I laid it all out on the table. I'm a brutally honest person and sometimes it has been to my advantage, and sometimes not. So as I'm improving on "self-managing" myself, I did the opposite of what I's normally do and remained quiet and peaceful weeks upon weeks. Needless to say, it was quite refreshing and therapeutic. As I was reading an article by Warren G. Bennis and Robert J. Thomas named Crucibles of Leadership (part of Harvard Business Review's 10 Must Reads on Leadership), it came to me what I was already doing without realizing it. In the article they talk about this idea of finding meaning in and learning from the most negative events, "like phoenixes rising from the ashes, they emerge from adversity stronger, more confident in themselves and their purpose, and more committed to their work" as they said. That statement hit me and little did I know that's how I was already living for a couple of weeks. What I went through with that person and the end of that relationship really took a toll on my happiness and self-esteem. I saw myself as "not good enough" and irrelevant, it was also affecting my mood of course and in result I was not doing so well in school and in my other everyday life things. This was until the moment I decided to improve myself and to do it only for myself. As soon as my heart got over it, this negative event because the best moment yet. I let myself know that I am more than a good enough person, that I have morals and goals and that I will be happy and succeed without that person in my life because they don't define me. I got back up, took out anything that reminded me of that person from my life and I started to focus more on my education and outside life. Before I knew it, I was no longer even thinking of this person every day, I was advancing in my career by landing my perfect internship, and I was just overall happy because I kept myself together and did not make the attempt to communicate with this person and fall back in. Like Bennis and Thomas said, crucibles are a severe test or trial and are intense and always unplanned. This was a big test for me and my self-management skill, it was intense and unplanned but I got through it and am in a better place with so much confidence and peacefulness in my being.